It’s You vs You

When Everything Is Priority Nothing Is

Have you ever been at work where you have 20 different projects with 40 different stakeholders all saying they need this done by end of next week? Yes? Then you understand that when everything is priority then nothing is. FYI, if you are currently having this problem feel free to message me with questions as I have spent the better part of my career in this phase and can offer some understanding and solace, even things that may help ease your woes. Currently I have a problem of a similar nature, although undiagnosed, but I am doing it to myself or at least I think I am. My mind runs twenty clicks over the speed limit all the time and if I cannot keep it busy with the next thing then I lose motivation and sink into my own cloverleaf interchange with Tron-like cycles blipping by at ridiculous speeds. How do I focus on one goal until completion, until success, until failure? The problem is that I don’t, unfortunately. I always have twenty ideas going all at once instead of a solid focus on one or two.

My wife is driven crazy by how my mind works because it seems like I am never satisfied with what I am doing. To be honest, the older I get the more I realize time is short and always running out. Do I want to look back in 10, 20, 30 years and wonder what I could have accomplished, created, became? The answer is no, I do not want to wonder. The fact is that some people do not understand this issue because they are content and fully satisfied with what they have become and where their life is leading and that is amazing for those folks, however I am not one of them and I know others (although only a couple personally) who are in similar boats.

I jump around from new hobby to new hobby all the time. What books interest me? I have no idea how to answer that except for the books that interest me are whatever catches my attention at the time. People will ask, what do you like to do? I can say that I like to do things that are fun and enjoyable, physically challenging, and some times against the grain of normal. However all of these answers really depend on the mood I am in that day….ugh how frustrating. I do not wish anyone to have this brain because it is like having multiple wires crossing but all moving in the same direction, constant flickering glitches of slight insanity.

Why can’t you just be happy? You have it going good for you and your family! Great question, I have no freaking idea! I have tried to slow my brain down tried to settle it and be content but it runs on optimum race fuel and I have been feeding it 86 octane (low grade fuel for those who aren’t sure where that was going).

My brain needs optimum race fuel but I have been feeding it 86-octane for a long time.

I buy things, play with them for a while then stop using them for a couple months believing I will get back to them only to end up selling them later. Luckily I’m almost always able to sell things or else I would just have a garage full of half way hobbies (still have some items…woodworking equipment, I guess I will not be that old school Santa Clause after all).

I have something to prove to myself and that is to stop talking so much and just do something to completion! I need something to keep me obsessively busy or else my mind goes numb and potentially dumb!

The older I become the more I understand when people say “Do something you love and you’ll never work a day in your life”. This is You vs You (or me vs me but you get it) and literally the only thing standing in my way is and has always been myself. I have been successful in my career for which I am grateful, I have a beautiful family and some amazing friends! I am extremely lucky and I know that but something just has not clicked yet and I cannot wait any longer to find it! I have always been proud of how patient I am as a man coming from a certain type of background but I think patience is overrated! Time to make things happen and act on ideas!

It’s You vs You, and that’s all it is.

If you or anyone has any advice on finding your niche or have found success in finding your place and your hobby that maintains your busy mind please comment or message me!

-Matt